The following set of rules attributed to this country are copied from an English magazine to show how we learn our peculiarities from the magazines of other countries:
Rooles for Playin Onto a Organ in Meeting.
When the preacher comes in and neals down in the poolpit, pool all the stoppers. That’s what the stoppers is for.
When a him is given out to be sung, play over the whole toon before singin, but be sure to play it so that they can’t tell whether it’s that toon or some other toon. It will so amoose people to guess at the toon.
When you play the interlood, sometimes pull all the stoppers out, and sometimes pull them all in. The stoppers is made to pull out and in.
Play the interloods twice as long as the toon. The interloods is the best part of the mewsic, and should be the longest.
Play from the interlood into the toon without them knowing when the toon begins. This will teach them to mind their own business.
Always play the interloods faster or slower then the toon. This will keep it from being the same time as the toon.
If the preacher gives out five virses, play four. Tew many virses is teejus.
During the sermon go out of the church, and cum back in time for the next toon. This will show you don’t mean to be hard on the preacher by having tew many listenin to him at wonst.